Regular readers might remember that I shared the COIN feedback model last month. Feedback continues to be an uneasy topic for leaders. A client last week actually gasped and fell silent when I suggested he give feedback to a direct report. With probing he uncovered one of the following reasons that stopped him and he figured out why it shouldn’t anymore.
Top Reasons People Don’t Give Negative/Constructive Feedback
- It will demotivate them and I need them motivated
- I don’t want to hurt their feelings
- I don’t know how to do it so I don’t. What if I get it wrong?
- I want people to like me
- I don’t have time to do it
- They should know better already
- I’ve got too many other things to do
- I meant to, just didn’t get around to it
- I figured it out for myself, they need to figure it out on their own
- I don’t know why they don’t get it, what could I say to change it?
Top Reasons People Don’t Give Positive Feedback
- I’d have to give them a raise and there’s no money in the budget
- I’d have to promote them and there’s no spots available
- They should do well, it’s their job, they are getting paid to do it
- It will go to their heads, we don’t need more divas working here
- No one ever praised me!
- I’m British, we don’t do that
- They know they’ve done well
- I don’t know how to do it
- What if I get it wrong?
- I said ‘great job’ and ‘thanks’, isn’t that enough?
What’s stopping you from giving more feedback (positive or constructive) professionally or personally?